


Back to December

by Niko_Ranelle



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, lets be honest I'd find a way to ship them in ANY universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 17:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10392039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niko_Ranelle/pseuds/Niko_Ranelle
Summary: This is a mostly finished, but definitely not 100%, four year old one shot for Wheeljack/Ratchet in Transformers Prime. I recently rediscovered it, and decided it deserved to see the light of day, even in it current form. Taking place between Con Job and Hurt, and an additional scene from the season 2 finale. Canon compliant, with the headcanon that Wheejack and Ratchet were partners before the war started.Also a songfic because this was written in 2013.





	

_**I’m so glad you made time to see me**_  
_**How’s life, tell me how’s your family.**_  
_**I haven’t seen them in awhile.**_  
_**You’ve been good, busier than ever**_  
_**With small talk, work and the weather**_  
_**your guard is up and I know why.**_  
_**Because the last time you saw me**_  
_**is still burned in the back of your mind.**_  
_**You gave me roses, and I left them there to die.**_

  


“So. You built this thing yourself?” The stately former engineer asked, walking up near silently and leaning against the tunnel wall.

“I did,” Ratchet said, not looking away from the groundbridge maintenance panel. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I still have work to do.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Wheeljack detached himself from the wall and stepped forward, crouching down to peer at the damaged components. “Prime asked me to take a look at this thing.”

 _Talk about adding insult to injury,_ Ratchet thought to himself, rolling his optics. “Clearly it works, I just need to make a few additional calculations. Nothing you could help with.”

“You sure?” Wheeljack had crouched down and pulled off a panel, reaching into the depths off the groundbridge control. After a moment the constant hum of the groundbridge went silent as it was powered down completely. Wheeljack emerged with a shower of sparks, triumphantly holding up a damaged electrical component. “This looks like more than calculations. What are you doing, feeding it to scraplets?”

“Actually, yes.”

Was that a faint chuckle he heard? It was difficult to say, with Wheeljack’s face turned away from him.  

"You got lucky when you brought me back. One more jump and this whole thing could have blown sky high.”

“I would have found that,” Ratchet protested. “Obviously I would have checked that before trying anything.”

“Uh huh.” Neatly edging the medic aside, Wheeljack picked up a few tools and got straight to work.  

Ratchet watched him in silence for awhile. This wasn’t the Wheeljack he’d known. It wasn’t from his wrecker side either. That much was obvious. Some of it was- Makeshift had been just as deadpan, and he’d known nothing of… them, but most of it was simply Wheeljack keeping a distance.

He should have known better.

"So, how are the rest of the wreckers?” He asked, trying to start up some sort of conversation. The silence was unnerving.

“Dead,” was the terse reply.

“I’m… sorry. I didn’t know.”

That got him a noncommittal grunt from the engineer, and then a change of subject. “So… earth, right? Bit of an odd name for a planet.”

“It was already named when we got here. Sorry it doesn’t suit you.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Just odd, that’s all.” He took out his welder to make a few quick patches. “Bulkhead asked me to stay.”

“There’s not much space here.”

“What, you think I’d actually _want_ to stay?”

There was so much that Ratchet wanted to say in response to that- an honest ‘no’, a ‘Prime would appreciate having you around’, or 'The kids would like it’, or even a direct 'I’m sorry’. But he couldn’t quite get his vocalizer to work, and he ended up saying nothing.

“I wouldn’t,” Wheeljack said quickly when the silence started to drag out. “I prefer the loners life. Away.”

“Do you?” This time the words came without a thought. Ratchet instantly regretted it- Wheeljack dropped all pretense of conversation, turning away to put the panel back together.

“So, anything else? These repairs should hold for awhile.”

“I need to test it first, before I try and bridge you out.”

“You don’t need to test. I’ve been blown up countless times. One more won’t hurt too bad.”

“I can’t spare the resources. Raf!” He stepped up and over to the ground bridge controls, where the 12 year old met him on the platform.

“Yes?”

“We’re ready to test the bridge.”

“Test?” Confused, he looked between Ratchet and the mech behind him, who simply shrugged. They hadn’t actually 'tested’ the bridge before, other than the time they’d attempted to reach Cybertron. Normally, the repairs were trusted to work. “O-kay. I’ll get my car.”

  


The bridge worked perfectly, which was probably owed to Wheeljack, although Ratchet would never admit that. He was too proud of a mech for that.

It was always his pride, in the end.

“Bridge us out, Ratch.” Bulkhead said, his usual bright mood dimmed by that fact that his friend was already leaving.

_If he only knew,_ Ratchet thought, activating the ground bridge. When he looked up, he saw Wheeljack’s optics boring into his own. Guarded, yes, but also forgiving.

“Wheeljack, I’m-” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Just two words. Shaking his head briefly to clear his thoughts, he changed tactics. “Thanks.”

A curt nod was his only response.   

  


**_These days I haven’t been sleeping.  
_ _Staying up playing back myself leaving_ **

  


_Primus, I was blind_. Lost in thought, Ratchet stared at the screen without really seeing it. _I was always blind._

It was late, an ungodly hour even for the Autobots. But he’d never felt more awake.

_“Doc! I’ve made the gr- what’s wrong?”_

_“I can’t do this anymore, 'Jack.”_

_“What, help test my inventions? That’s fine, I wasn’t going to-”_

_“No! Not your_ inventions. _Primus._

_”… I don’t understand.“_

_"Wheeljack, I’ve signed on with Optimus Prime. I’ll be at the front, maybe even off planet. We don’t know when we’ll be back. If I’ll be back. I don’t want to put myself through this.”_

_“So you’re leaving?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“For good? But what about- I could go with you.”_

_“No. You wouldn’t make it, not in this war.”_

“ _I could learn. I’d enlist, learn something other than science. I could catch back up with you, you don’t have to-”_

“ _You’re not listening to me! You will_ never _be strong enough to fight. I_ don’t _want you there. Not now, not ever. I don’t care what you do after this, but whatever it is, it cannot be with me. You won’t make, and I’m not going to be responsible for you. It’s over. Don’t look  for me.”_

_"Ratchet!”_

_But he wasn’t about to answer. He was already transformed and gone._

It was the last time they’d spoken, so many years ago. 

  


**“I’ll be sure to be on my best behavior, doc.”  
**

**“Please don’t call me doc!”  
**

**“Whatever you say, sunshine.”**

**  
**

**“Don’t worry Doc, I got your back.”  
**

**“My name is not Doc, and I do not require anyone watching my back! I proved my mettle during the war for Cybertron.”  
**

**“Then I’m lucky you’re along for the ride, champ.”  
**

**  
**

**“Doc?”  
**

**“Wheeljack! I told you not to call me that!”**

**“… I’m sorry.”  
**

**“What’s wrong? Where are you?”  
**

**  
**

**“I still advise that you return to base. You require a thorough examination.”**

**“The only think I require right now is some hull sealant. Trust me, the Jackhammer here is in more need of repairs than me.”**

**“Listen, Wheeljack. I want to… thank you. For your… back up.”**

**“Yup.”**

**“See you around… Ratchet.”**

  


**_Maybe this is wishful thinking,_  
** _**Probably mindless dreaming.**_  
_**If we loved again I swear I’d love you right.**_  
_**I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t**_  
_**So if the chain is on your door I understand.**_

  


“Rafael, what are you doing here?”

“Mom said that I could stay over at a friends house tonight. Mrs. Darby’s covering for me, so I came here with Bee.”

“That doesn’t sound very-”

“Relax, Ratchet, it’ll be fine. You need something?”

“Wh- actually, yes. I’m going to need you to man the goundbridge for me.”

“Sure. Where are you off to?”

He punched in the coordinates, letting that be his answer. Raf frowned.

“You haven’t gone to Wheeljack yet?”  

“He understands. But now I have the time, and at this moment, we’re nothing without him.” He activated the groundbridge. “Bridge me back immediately if there’s any change.”

  


Wheeljack almost seemed to be waiting for him when he arrived, sitting on a large rock near the Jackhammer. He didn’t look at him, however- just kept staring at the setting sun.

“Coming with news?”

Reluctantly Ratchet walked closer, waiting for the bridge to close before speaking. “He’s still hanging on. Miko’s with him now. She asked about you.”

“Mm.” He nodded slightly, but otherwise didn’t move.

The old Wheeljack would have shown more concern, cared about more than just his damn ship. But this spark-breaking change wasn’t entirely Ratchets fault- it was from living as a Wrecker. he wasn’t meant for that. That much Ratchet had know. But he’d also wanted him to be safe.

“Tell her she can be my partner from now on.” Another subtle subject change during a silence. The words were joking, but then again, everything Wheeljack said was flippant now a days.

“Wheeljack, she’s _human_. She’s _not_ capable of filling that role. You were nearly killed without backup!”

“And why should you care?”

That hit hard. Hard enough that he almost called for Raf right then and there. If Wheeljack wasn’t ready to forgive him then what was he even doing there?

But slaggit all, he had to try. He couldn’t just duck out whenever things got hard- he’d never get anywhere. He would try.

“Because I _have_ to. For- for Prime. Without Bulkhead, we’re vulnerable. If we lose you too, then we’ve good as lost.” He let his voice drop off to nearly inaudible levels.

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” There- that sounded like the mech he’d once known. Quiet, knowing without needing to be told of the fear that was slowly growing. But quick as it’d come, it was gone. “I know what it takes to get rid of me.”

The dual meaning wasn’t lost on Ratchet. “Well, this was almost it, and you definitely can’t take a hit like that again.”

“Neither can Hardshell.” For a second, the mech grinned up at him, but then it too was gone, shoved away along with everything else.

“You still need repair either way. You could barely walk.”

“I don’t know if I’d want you to do that. I’m capable of my own repairs.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“Let me do them.”

“I didn’t come here as a medic.”

“Then who did you come as?”

“As-” He faltered, took a step back and looked away. “Wheeljack, I need you to listen to me.”

“I’m listening.” His gaze didn’t switch from the horizon.  

Again he hesitated, but then his mind was completely made up, and he said everything in a rush, knowing that if he paused, he’d stop entirely. “What I did all those vorns ago was wrong, Wheeljack. So, so wrong. Let me explain myself. Please. I did what I did in the hopes that it would keep you alive. I couldn’t stand to live in a universe without you. It was better to know that you were alive and I’d never see you again than gone entirely. I thought that to keep you safe, I had to let you go. I swear, I never meant for things to end up like this. I didn’t know any other way, I never will. But it’s you, 'Jack, it’s always been you. There’s never been anyone else. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m not saying you have to forgive me. I’d almost prefer it if you don’t. I don’t deserve it. But know that I regret it.”  

Very slowly, the mech that he’s loved- still _did_ love and never would _stop_ loving- turned to face him. “Is that all?”  
  
Ratchet vented a sigh and stared up at the stars, ones so different from that day back on Cybertron. “Yes. I suppose it is.”

“Good to know, I guess.”  


The silence that fell over them was heavy and uncomfortable, weighted by years of distance and the reopening of old wounds. Ratchet had no clue what to say, and Wheeljack refused to do anything other than stare at the ground. It seemed that baring his spark had backfired in the worst way, closing a door that might not have been really open in the first place. 

Ratchet was the one to break the silence in the end.  


“I should go.”  


“Mmhmm.”

It hurt, hurt far more than leaving in the first place ever had. They’d managed to make it through the war without ever crossing paths, and then somehow both survived when so many others hadn’t. Not only survived, but ended up stranded on the same planet, forced together by having no other options. And yet here they were again, walking away without another word because Ratchet had to think with his spark instead of his processor.

  
  
“Rafael? I need that bridge now.”  


“Everything alright?”

“I just need the bridge.”

  


**Wheeljack? But how did you-”**

**“I picked up a strange energy surge. Hope you don’t mind the company.”  
**

**“No. It’s just that after everything- well…”  
**

**“We’re still on the same team, doc. Always will be.”**  


  


_**But this is me swallowing my pride** _  
_**standing in front of you** _  
_**saying I’m sorry for that night.** _  
_**It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you,** _  
_**wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine.** _  
_**I go back to December, turn around and make it alright.** _  
_**I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.** _  
_**I go back to December all the time.** _


End file.
